Honoring Joy in a time of Profound Suffering

As I continue to witness so much suffering and pain happening around the world, I often find myself asking, “How do I take aligned action toward collective justice while also cultivating joy, kindness, compassion, and love at the same time?” It can feel impossible right now, with so much negativity and suffering constantly exposed to us. Seeing others deep in their pain, I sometimes feel guilty expressing my own joy. It has felt insensitive or inconsiderate to do so. I’ve caught myself thinking, “How dare I express joy and happiness in a time of such deep suffering?” My heart sinks, anger builds, and existential despair rises. The weight of the world can feel crushing.

This is not a reality I want to continue co-creating with the collective. I no longer want to tell the story that my joy is unwanted or unnecessary in difficult times. Instead of flinching at fear-based or negatively aligned energy and content, I want to use my joy as a protective shield against it. Not to bypass the reality we live in, but to allow my joy to make me fearless and unwavering in the face of it. To let those energies come close — but never actually touch me. And I believe one of the most powerful ways to do this is by cultivating immense joy and compassion for ourselves and others.

I recognize that there are people in this world who have never truly experienced joy. If that continues, and we collectively forget what joy feels or looks like, then we have lost something essential. We lose our humanity. We lose our ability to love. Without joy and compassion, we become divided and more susceptible to manipulation and negative influences. Joy and compassion unite, uplift, and enliven us — and that energy threatens the forces of manipulation and divisiveness. We become freer, more sovereign, and more connected to ourselves and our neighbors.

I recently read For Small Creatures Such as We by Sasha Sagan, and one of my biggest takeaways for me was how deeply humans are drawn to ritual and celebration. She writes about how we create rituals around the things we cannot control — our birthdays, the solstices, the moon cycles. It’s as if we’ll find any reason to gather and celebrate. I find that profoundly beautiful. Celebration, joy, happiness, and togetherness are innate human traits, and we’ve been expressing them for thousands of years.

After reading the book, I asked myself: beyond having a reason to celebrate, what does humanity need most in order to cultivate the energy of joy? Intimacy and safety. We need a sense of intimacy and safety within ourselves, with our neighbors, and in our environment. Without those, we become afraid to express joy — at least to the degree that feels natural and nourishing.

I sometimes feel hesitant connecting with my joy around new people or in unfamiliar environments. Can I trust these strangers? What if my joy is rejected? What if someone is offended by my authentic self? As a gay and spiritual person living in a predominantly conservative and religious region of the country, there are moments when I fear for my physical safety. Will someone react violently to my authenticity? Will I be preached at or condemned? These are thoughts that occasionally arise. I know some can relate. And yet — they are stories. They are fear. I cannot assume that everyone thinks this way about me. While some fears may hold truth in certain circumstances, feeding fear-based narratives into every interaction limits connection and reinforces isolation.

Let’s talk about frequency and vibration for a moment. We hear it often: “Raise your vibration.” But what does that actually mean?

Everything vibrates — including your thoughts and emotions. They ripple through your body and extend into your external world. What you cultivate internally eventually manifests externally. In other words, we reflect the vibration we most consistently embody. If we focus heavily on fear and negativity, we begin to experience life through that lens. When we cultivate expansive, loving, and elevated thoughts and emotions, our lived experience shifts accordingly.

Think of raising your vibration as rising from your own internal hell. What thoughts, emotions, or belief systems have you installed that keep you chained to draining patterns? Repetitive negative thinking. Repressed emotions building beneath the surface. Beliefs that diminish your confidence and worldview. Learning to move through, release, and heal these patterns is what raising your vibration truly is.

It’s almost as if we self-prophesize our destiny based on the thoughts and emotions we feed most consistently. The stories I create about how others will perceive me are just that — stories, perhaps containing a sliver of truth, but still stories. When I cling to them, I confine myself and I end up attracting more circumstances that reflect that limiting belief. Through this belief, I place people in boxes in my mind and label them before giving them the chance to show me who they are. Ironically, I become the one creating the separation.

I understand that this fear originally formed to protect me. But when protection becomes isolation, it no longer serves me.

That said, I am not suggesting we ignore our intuition. There are appropriate times and places to share certain aspects of ourselves — and times to not. Not everyone should have access to every part of you. That access is a privilege. What I’m speaking to is reassuring the joyful, compassionate, authentic aspects of yourself that they are safe to be expressed when it feels good to do so. Rather than locking them away out of habitual fear. That requires building an intimate relationship with those aspects, so they feel safe in those moments.

So how do we create that safety and intimacy within ourselves?

Imagine your consciousness as a city. There are beautiful areas filled with celebration — places representing confidence, comfort, joy, and strength. You love being there. But there are also neglected neighborhoods. Shadowed streets representing repressed emotions, ignored wounds, and unconscious patterns. We avoid them because they feel uncomfortable.

But the people living there — the parts you’re afraid to face — are you.

They are the ignored, misunderstood, and exiled aspects of yourself. And regardless of how uncomfortable they feel, they deserve an invitation to the party.

How do we invite them?

We create safety and intimacy. We visit those neglected spaces with compassion. We ask, “What do you need? How can I support you?” We begin healing past wounds. We acknowledge what we’ve suppressed. We build trust with ourselves through presence and compassion.

Over time, the party moves into those darker neighborhoods. Joy and celebration becomes a healing force. The celebration extends into the shadows. Every part of you is invited.

Everyone.

This process looks different for each person. And complete healing is not the goal — because perfection doesn't exist. But we can develop a relationship with suffering where we are not crushed by its weight. I attended a Buddhist service recently, and the teacher said, “Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.” Pain is part of the human experience. But when we identify with it or focus heavily on it, we deepen our suffering.

We are capable of holding both pain and joy at the same time. They can coexist. We can lovingly hold both without allowing either to dominate us.

This internal work is not only needed for every individual, but also for our communities and society. Many people are simply surviving. Some are living in deeply painful circumstances with belief systems that make joy feel inaccessible. We cannot force them to think or feel differently. But we can offer compassion and kindness to those willing to receive it. We can create bridges. Through our presence, words, and embodiment, we can remind and inspire others that joy is still available — even now. That they are not alone. That they, too, are worthy of being celebrated and adored. Our internal reality will reflect our outer world.

And so, joy becomes a powerful modality for peace, protection, unity, unwavering courage, and inspired action. It transforms into one of our greatest tools against negativity and fear-based energy. Joy lifts us and others out of our own internal hell and reconnects us to our strength. And when there is a sufficient amount of safety and intimacy built around our joy that then begins to reflect in our outer world. We begin to attract and manifest more of that energy in our environment, and for our loved ones and neighbors.

The most beautiful part is that we all have access to joy. It was never truly lost or stolen. The only person who can disconnect from your joy is you — and even then, it is never gone, only waiting to be reclaimed. Sometimes we simply need to be reminded of that, especially during the darker times we’ve been witnessing.

Let your joy inspire you — and through you, inspire others. Our joy is needed now more than ever.

If you’re seeking support on your healing journey or are curious about how to navigate these times without sacrificing your joy, I would be honored to work with you.

Schedule your session here and scroll to Clarity and Healing session to book.